My boyfriend never posts about me on social media. Is that a red flag?
If you are reading this, it is probably because you are trying to find an answer to the above question and the truth is you are not alone.
It is absolutely normal for you to be concerned about your boyfriend’s attitude towards posting you on social media. I mean other men do it, why does it seem difficult for him? Is he cheating? Is he ashamed of me? Or is he just not a social media person? You might have pondered on the following questions. In this article, you will find answers to the above questions and learn how to manage the situation.
The social media landscape
Posting on social media wasn’t a big deal years ago but the world is evolving and so are our expectations. Many people believe that the proof that their partner loves them is that their lover posts them on social media. It is also widely accepted that if you love a person then you should show them off. This has become the common way of expressing love and connection. No wonder you feel the way you do. Your partner sharing precious moments spent with you can make you feel cherished and loved, although it is not the only way to show their affection for you.
Also Read: Why does my man seek attention from other women?
Respect for privacy
While posting your partner can be a way to express your love and show your partner that you cherish them and you want the whole world to know. It is not the only way to show your affection and your partner might not be comfortable with it. It is important that you respect your partner’s privacy. Not everyone wants others to know what they are up to, who they are dating, and so on. You must understand your partner and know what is comfortable for them. If they are not the type to post about themselves, then it should not be difficult to understand why they won’t post you. Not posting pictures does not necessarily indicate a lack of love or commitment. Understanding and respecting your partner’s privacy shows them that you care about them and helps to further foster a more intimate relationship.
Different perspectives on privacy
People have different levels of comfortability when it comes to posting on social media. A person might be comfortable with sharing their personal life once in a while, another person might be comfortable posting everything about their life. It is important to understand your partner and know the reason they behave the way they do. Past experience, personal value or concern about online exposure may be one of the reasons a person may choose to limit or stay away from posting on social media. An introverted person may find it uncomfortable to post about their life for other people to look at, another person may just have a personal value system that prevents them from posting on social media, they may think it is childish or find it plain weird to share the happenings in their life with strangers. Another person who used to post about everything in his life and the information was used to kidnap him may find it difficult to post online due to the trauma. It is important that you understand the perspective your partner is speaking from.
Communication styles
Open communication is the bedrock of every relationship, couples that communicate with each other have longer relationships and build trust. It is important to discuss with your partner how you feel, why you feel so and what you expect from the relationship and vice versa. This ensures that both parties understand each other and are able to work out the challenges they face. Different people have different preferences and perspectives on what to share on social media, open communication helps you to understand yourselves and bridge the gap .
Ensure that your partner is at ease and you ask questions without making accusations. Be genuine in your quest to understand why he doesn’t post your pictures and let him know you care and would like to understand his reasons.
Fear of judgment
Several people stay away from social media and keep their lives private because they are afraid of judgment. There are several nasty people who love to share unwanted opinions about other people’s lives. Your partner might fear the judgment that comes from posting on social media, they might find it difficult to deal with the nasty comments or the attention that comes from sharing personal stuff. You should understand that societal pressures can influence your partner’s perspective on posting on social media.
Building trust
Building trust with your partner can extend beyond social media, your partner posting you online is not the only way to build trust. You can engage in other activities that can help foster your relationship. Spending time together doing what you love can help you bond more and build trust; reading a book together, going for a picnic, hiking, going to the beach or seeing a movie together are activities you can engage to further build your connection.
When you engage in several activities offline and realize the extent of your partner’s love for you, you will come to see that posting on social media is not much of a big deal, then you can both reach a compromise on the issue. You will find security in truly knowing your partner and how he feels towards you than in abstract things like social media. There are stories of partners who post their lovers often on the gram but are two timing with another person. That your partner posts you on social media is not a sign of faithfulness or commitment.
Finding a middle ground
While it is important to understand your partner and for him you, it is also possible to reach a compromise. Finding a middle ground shows you both understand and care for each other. Discuss you and your partner’s comfort level when it comes to posting on social media, set boundaries for both of you and find alternative ways to celebrate your relationship. Instead of posting a picture on instagram, you might decide to go on a date or do something special to both of you.
Although you may find it difficult or painful that your boyfriend doesn’t post you, especially when you have friends whose boyfriends do. You need to understand that people are different and we behave in certain ways for a reason. Try to understand your partner’s perspective and see if you can both reach a compromise. Build trust with each other and spend time getting to know each other. When you truly understand the person of your partner and how he loves you, you will not need him to post on social media to validate his feelings for you. Communicating how you feel to him can also help him understand you better and maybe post you on the social media platforms he is comfortable with.
Did you experience a situation where your partner does not like to post you? How did you manage the situation? Please share your experience in the comment session. If you are currently experiencing this, engage your partner in an open conversation about social media expectations. I look forward to reading your comments!
