Why does my Boyfriend Tease me a lot?
A month ago, I noticed my colleague – Sandy was a bit absent-minded at work. She flopped completely at her presentation despite countless training sessions and the hard work we had put into the project.
I knew she was probably overwhelmed.
But it was definitely not work.
There was more!
At lunch, she dived into details about how her newfound love – Jason was turning out to be the opposite of the love story she had envisaged.
“ I find his remarks so absurd and insensitive’ she blurted out.
She continued.
‘ You know what I find more annoying ‘ She asked staring at me curiously.
I listened with an undivided attention.
‘‘ He thinks these things are funny.’’
‘ I was just joking’ she said mimicking her boyfriend.
Truth is, everyone loves a good laugh. In a romantic relationship, naughtiness and a dose of silliness with bursts of laughter can be fun and build an undeniable strong bond and excitement.
Sadly, these ‘precious moments’ can transform into gloomy ones when a partner finds the “supposed joke” insensitive and feels insulted.
Teasing in a relationship ignites various emotions. A roller coaster – Ecstasy, Doubt, Joy unworthiness, fulfillment, and emptiness.
I’d define Teasing as an act of making fun of someone in a playful manner with or without the intention of hurting the person. It may be physical – embarrassing gesture/ flirty touch or verbal, which is the most common.
Teasing is a social behavior. Simply put, You and I tease intentionally or impulsively.
It is an integral part of our lives as humans.
Irrespective of race, color, or gender, we have all had our share of pleasant and awful experiences of being teased at some point or the other in our lives. It may be perceived as playful or hurtful regardless of the intent of the teaser.
Teasing is a key ingredient in building intimacy in a romantic relationship. It’s easier to love an individual who makes you laugh and is intentional about creating a warm and relaxed atmosphere during conversations.
A routine of simple jokes and laughter in a romantic atmosphere can take a relationship to the highest peak of intimacy, as it allows you to create exciting and unforgettable memories. These memories linger on even when we are temporarily away from our partner and keep the fire of the relationship burning.
However, sometimes teasing between lovers can be difficult to interpret or confusing. Other times, you may be completely clueless about why you are being teased repeatedly.
If you find yourself in this category and you are wondering why your partner enjoys teasing you.
The following are a few reasons why your boyfriend might enjoy teasing you.
First, you must understand that our personality plays a vital role in our social interactions with others. If you are in a relationship with a playful or flirty partner, you have to be prepared to be at the receiving end of his jokes or flirty remarks.
He will go all out to make you laugh and happy. A man putting in so much effort to keep the spark in your eyes could mean he loves you and his jokes could be the easiest way he expresses his love.
Sanguine lights up every room they walk into. Their personality reflects in their daily activities including conversations. They effortlessly keep seamless friendly and playful conversations compared to other personality types.
On the other hand, abusive people may often tease their partners in a harmful or condescending way. Oftentimes, abusive words are disguised as jokes that demean, belittle, or ridicule their partners. When you notice this pattern in your relationship, then you must be aware that you are been abused subtly and make the right decision before the situation escalates.
It’s important to also emphasize on the fact individuals with poor communication skills often use teasing as a tool to pass across a message they have always wanted to say. Perhaps they are scared of being confrontational or they are shying away from the situation, and only make subtle remarks disguised as a tease instead of having a good conversation. This on its own is a red flag as a lot of issues that may be potentially damaging to the relationship are not being addressed.
Whether you like it or not, teasing affects your relationship with your partner positively or negatively.
According to Kamna Chhiber, a clinical psychologist, couples must be intentionally creative in fostering joy and healthy fun in their relationship. A dose of teasing is essential in this equation.
Flirty teasing and playful jokes not only maintain but also rekindle sparks and attraction between couples.
Likewise, it can be a good conflict-resolution tool, simply because jokes can lighten up a tense atmosphere and warm up the hearts of an aggrieved partner.
On the other hand, harmful or hurtful words often disguised as teasing make a partner feel unworthy and unloved. Incessant criticism or insults laced with jokes can tear down your partner’s self-esteem and make them withdrawn in their interaction with others including their partner.
Over time, this pattern can lead to a gradual loss of spark and love that is required to keep the relationship alive.
As a couple, the goal is to ensure that teasing between both parties breeds positive emotions and feelings.
This can be achieved by communication and teasing in a healthy/loving way such as ;
Teasing respectfully – Love infused with respect is the core of every relationship. You shouldn’t be impulsive in your words even when you are joking. Our words have a long-lasting effect on people, especially our loved ones.
Tease them in a way that makes them feel good and loved especially when you are in public.
Also Read: In love with an Other thinker? Here are some things you must know
Knowing your limits – Don’t tease your partner about their failures, inadequacies, appearances, or sensitive issues they have confided in you. Certain things should be off-limit if you intend to avoid any regret. You should also know when to stop, even if you feel your intentions are good, once your partner is not comfortable with a joke or remarks. Don’t undermine their hurt or pain. Retrace your steps and take responsibility for your actions.
Speaking up – If you are not comfortable with how your partner teases you, you should communicate your feelings immediately and you must be sincere about the impact it has on you and how it affects your relationship with your partner. You may be surprised to find out that your partner is not aware of how his/her words make you unhappy
It is imperative to always set the pace and create the necessary boundary of what you will tolerate in the relationship from the onset.
Nevertheless, teasing would be beneficial for your relationship if you can strike a balance and have fun without losing respect for your partner.
A good laugh doesn’t only do your heart a lot of good, it also does magic in your relationship.
It is therapeutic and a game changer, only if you do it lovingly and be mindful of the ‘timing’ and ‘subject areas’.
The best bet is to know what works for you and your partner as you navigate through your love journey.
